Here We Are
by Vinnie K
Summary: And in a heartbeat, everything changes. A McSexie story.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone or anything. The only thing I own is a crazy mind. 'Here We Are' is by Breaking Benjamin and all credit goes to those wonderful men.

**A/N:** This idea surfaced when 'Here We Are' came up on my shuffle list on iTunes. I have a rough idea about what I'm doing with this, but I'm still wary. I know this is short, but bare with me, the lengths will increase. Anyway, please, let me know what you think (:

* * *

_I'll be home tonight, take a breath and softly say goodbye._

* * *

It wasn't meant to be like this.

She had done everything she could. She had done everything physically possible to make them work. She had kept secrets, she had bared her soul and embarrassed herself on their first night together, she had smuggled food and braced the wrath of the woman who had raised him, but most importantly, she had stood up for their relationship. _For them._

She never hesitated to stand up for them because at the end of it, she always wanted to have the right to look back and say, _'I did everything for you.'_ It wasn't because she was arrogant or self-centred. It wasn't because she wanted to come away the good guy. It wasn't because she wanted to make him feel bad. No, she wanted to have the right to say it because it was the truth. It was the truth, and supposedly, nothing feels better than knowing the truth.

As she watches him slowly turn away from her, Lexie wonders if maybe...maybe she could have done more. Maybe. But at the end of the day, she did everything to make them work. She knows this; she knows it so much that it hurts, because they were meant for better things. She did everything because they were meant to do great things together. _She knew it._ It was a feeling she would get, late at night as she watched him sleep. The feeling was soon proven a few weeks later when she stood beside him, face in her hand, eyes gleaming with pride and excitement.

Now, her eyes well as he continues to walk, refusing to look back.

Lexie had hopes; she always had hopes when it came to them. She knew that she could make it work. She would change him. Others couldn't, they all tried to change him and his ways and yet, none could. They all wished, hoped, prayed they would be that woman, the one that he committed to. However, no-one was able to fulfil the role. He wouldn't let them.

But then she came along. Unexpected and new. Wide-eyed and sensual. A whirl of smiles, knowledge and juice boxes. She was a breath of fresh air. She breathed new life into him, and everyone knew – she would be the one to change him.

It was as if he was a different man with her. She made him better. With her, the walls crumpled, the facade slowly chipped and the only thing left standing was plain and simple Mark Sloan. With her, the snarky remarks stayed, but behind each sarcastic comment, there was a certain warmth that told Lexie that he didn't mean it. He never meant it because, as he had once whispered to her in the dark, he would _never_ intentionally hurt her.

That was until now, of course.

Lexie blinked and suddenly, his image blurred. She could hardly make out the leather jacket she loved; she could barely see the long legs she had straddled only a few hours ago. She couldn't see the hair, the short, slightly grey hair that she would always twirl around her fingers. Everything about him, everything that she loved, was now covered by the tears that were free falling from her eyes.

She never realized it would hurt this much. Because through the whole thing, the good and the not so good, she told herself that he was worth it. All the work, all the confusion, the secrets, the lies, the fights, the stares, the whispers, the broken bones and broken hearts...Everything seemed to fall away when she thought about him. Nothing else mattered because he was worth it. He was worth it. Every last bit.

But knowing he was worth it didn't stop this from hurting so much.

It only made it worse.

For so long, Lexie had believed that Mark was worth all the pain and that they could outlast all the whispers and bets. They could do this. There was still a small part of her that knew, and that small voice was crying out now, shouting for her to realize that she could still save them. They had survived so long in this hostile environment that they could last another couple of months. A couple more weeks. Days. Hours. Seconds.

She tries to summon the courage to shout his name. She tries to fight for one more second and cry out his name. She tries to grasp what is happening. She tries to make a sound, to alert him to the fact that he is leaving her behind. She tries but she fails.

All she can do now is watch as his body gets smaller, the rain and her tears casting a hazy aura around his dejected form, highlighting him in the distance. As she watches the man she loves walk away from their relationship, Lexie wonders if she had been lying to herself. Maybe she was wrong to hope. Maybe she was wrong to care and think that she would be the one to change him.

Maybe she's better off without him.

Maybe he doesn't deserve her.

Maybe he isn't worth it.

Maybe...

_I'll be home tonight, take a breath and softly say goodbye._


End file.
